Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

domking1315

Offline (the 04/13/2015 at 5:05am) | Search for a member

domking1315

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5057
  • Number of comments : 366
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About domking1315 : I died a little bit inside when I read these FML's in moderation:

"Today I was thinking that i have the desire to move to a tribe that has never made contact with civilization and have sex with one of the guys and have freaky sex with him and turn him out! And then he told all his friends that I'm the queen of sex and be tribe slut. What do you think?"

"Today I woke up to my penis chopped off and my girlfriend cooking it I'm broiled water... She's laughing at my pain while I'm sitting in the hospital trying to cut off her vagina!"

"Today I fucked a dog I'm not proud of it but it happens."

"Today I was jerkin' it in the shower. just as I reached climax my baby sister walked in. being two years old, she opened the curtain and I trurned around amd ended up cumming on her face. then she screamed and my dad walked in."

"Today I farted and my ex boyfriends cum shot out at my wife."

domking1315's page activity

Visits<b>Seiko</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:34pm<b>kct101</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:00pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:14pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:54pm<b>zane20062</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:32am<b>FordTough</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:08pm<b>YAAAAAAYYYYYY</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:56am<b>Noah197099</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:18pm<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:08am<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:13pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:15am<b>chuckster2005</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:56pm<b>maddygymnast</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:09pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:53pm<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:37pm<b>shiny_shipper</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:27pm

Fucked!<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:05pm

domking1315's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of domking1315's badges

domking1315's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (8871)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20206) - you deserved it (45239)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (6151)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you deserved it (7216)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (14521)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54511) - you deserved it (6575)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49321) - you deserved it (10963)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52040) - you deserved it (3891)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40540) - you deserved it (6438)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (16998)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37773) - you deserved it (3353)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: