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domking1315

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domking1315
  • Town/Country : Alpharetta, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2086
  • Number of comments : 339
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About domking1315 : I wanna be one of someone's favorite commenter
Live the life you love
Love the life you live
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Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90656) - you deserved it (19052)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46410) - you deserved it (20078)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53827) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

#1828109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65252) - you deserved it (3482)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

#1774504
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49359) - you deserved it (6511)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57979) - you deserved it (5303)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you deserved it (598635)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML

#234756
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123995) - you deserved it (7728)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (88204)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16510) - you deserved it (25718)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (5750)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (2665)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16271) - you deserved it (26798)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (42253)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)



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