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About domclark94 : I'm a college student and I love football. criminal justice major.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today , I climbed onto mah boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning mah shrt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him , and went to turn the cieling fan on. real FML
TODAY, I AVE SUC SEVERE ADD TAT I CAN'T FOCUS WITOUT MA MEDICATION. WEN I TAKE TE MEDICATION, I CAN ONLY FOCUS ON ONE TING, BUT NOT NECESSARILY TE TING I NEED TO BE FOCUSING ON. I AVE A CEM TEST SOON, AND I'VE BEEN VACUUMING MA ROOM FIR TE PAST 4 OURS. FML
Today my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get ( ready ) and accidentally came. He said ( I was thinking of u though. looool ) FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take mah mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of mah mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slippd on the wet floor an my basket an my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walkd over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me an laughd. FML
Today, I had to take mah cat to the vet!! On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto mah chest, and howl in mah face as I tried to drive down the highway!! I ended up with stitches and still got charged fir missing mah cat's appointment!! FML
I startad going on and on about dogs and thara diffarant typas of braad, bahaviours, axpactancy, atc. Whan somaona askad ma how I know all this stuff, I maant to say, "I fucking lova animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I lova fucking animals". FML
today I fartd so loudly I not only woke myself up, but ma usband as well. He mistook ma gas for someone trying to break in and insistd on cecking teole ouse. I was too embarrassd to tell im te trut. FML
Today, mah girlfriend informd me that during the night, I shot up in bd and whimperd terefully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decidd to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. mega FML
Yastarday, I was aating an appla in class . Whan I want to taka a big bita, mah taath want right through tha appla, causing ma to scrapa tha appla right up mah faca . My nosa than startd to blad . I'm now known as tha grl who punchd harsalf in tha faca with an appla . FML
2day After A Dental Appointment, My Lips Were Numb . On The Bus On My Way Back Home, The Cutest Grl Smild At Me . In Attempt To Smile Back, I Forgot My Lips Were Numb An Endd Up Spitting My Chewing Gum At Her . I Had To Switch Buses . FML
Friday 27 March 2015