dogpfcorn

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dogpfcorn

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6732
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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dogpfcorn's page activity

Visits<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:21am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:22am<b>random_fangirl</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 2:33am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Mike592</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:54pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sikanderkhan</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:50pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:06pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:15am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:14am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:51pm<b>leoramos42</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:50am<b>aw5600</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:13pm<b>noway1987</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:51pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:09am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:41am

Fucked!<b>Mike592</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:14pm

dogpfcorn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of dogpfcorn's badges

dogpfcorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

by anniemeece / 04/07/2012 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

by Sash / 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

by rusrs / 03/29/2012 at 10:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

by ReallyBro / 03/21/2012 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

by danny5191 / 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy