dogpfcorn

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dogpfcorn

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6282
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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dogpfcorn's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:22am<b>random_fangirl</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 2:33am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Mike592</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:54pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sikanderkhan</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:50pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:06pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:15am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:14am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:51pm<b>leoramos42</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:50am<b>aw5600</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:13pm<b>noway1987</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:51pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:09am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:41am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:15pm

Fucked!<b>Mike592</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:14pm

dogpfcorn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of dogpfcorn's badges

dogpfcorn's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

by WentInABush / 11/15/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

by embarassedmuch / 10/30/2012 at 12:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

by Andrew / 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

by alittlepersonal / 10/05/2012 at 1:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy