dnlphm94

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dnlphm94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5642
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dnlphm94's page activity

Visits<b>JadynHunter</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:43am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:53am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>larkflyre</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:26pm<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:05am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:57pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 3:34am<b>FizzyPoison</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>MathiasMahBrony</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 9:53pm<b>PositiveCreep</b> - the 12/05/2012 at 5:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:55pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:59pm<b>talun</b> - the 12/17/2010 at 9:02am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 11:51pm<b>ily1210</b> - the 01/24/2010 at 2:58pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 5:08pm

dnlphm94's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dnlphm94's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

by troublewithbleach / 04/05/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

by biglady / 02/17/2011 at 2:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

by Emily Salt / 02/15/2011 at 3:34am / Intimacy

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy