dmorrte

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/26/2016 at 1:32am)

dmorrte

1Fucked!

dmorrte
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 883
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dmorrte : Hi I'm josh

dmorrte's page activity

Visits<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 5:50am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:44am<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 8:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 8:09pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:28am<b>ohthebloodygore</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 11:34pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:47am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:17am<b>AZdabest17</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 7:15pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:54pm<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 2:59pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 1:19pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:26pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 5:44pm<b>Subzero319</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 4:54am<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 8:09pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 9:04pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:44am

dmorrte's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of dmorrte's badges

dmorrte's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

by Crochocinco85 / 03/13/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

by idonteven / 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

by JJLight / 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Love