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dml19's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58982) - you deserved it (67827)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML


Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (50168)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (259948)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (323633)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60979) - you deserved it (330358)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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