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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14993
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dk2008's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 7:56pm<b>KaiserX</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Fred0357</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:37pm<b>jadakelley123</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:12am<b>ahmedd</b> - the 08/27/2010 at 11:29pm<b>Ifeelyou</b> - the 02/26/2010 at 6:05pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 10:28pm<b>travelerfromchn</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 9:25pm<b>arienh4</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 5:22pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 6:31pm<b>rosyrose</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 1:48am<b>itsgen</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 4:22am<b>KellyKilljoy</b> - the 07/28/2009 at 1:44am<b>broooooock</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 9:55pm<b>Grffin</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 8:42am<b>hatehatehatehate</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 10:50pm

dk2008's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

dk2008's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

by effmylife / 10/23/2009 at 6:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

by xXx / 10/16/2009 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy