djsammyc

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Offline (the 12/20/2014 at 2:04am)

djsammyc

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 June 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12235
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About djsammyc : hi, im sam. im a socially awkward clutz with an over active imagination. I will most likely never get published but that doesnt mean I wont try to turn my misfortune into a good laugh for you:)

djsammyc's page activity

Visits<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:38am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 12:01am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:55pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:28pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 10:55pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:52am<b>krazy789</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:41pm<b>mc822</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:39pm<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:39pm<b>jlmartin411</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 4:49pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:56am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:32am<b>marcusterry</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:25pm<b>Epic_Marshmalllw</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:36pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:38pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:20am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:43pm<b>sethr_di</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:00pm

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 9:55pm

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djsammyc's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

by embarrassed / 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

by 1dvos_grl3 / 12/19/2014 at 7:53am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

by ai_lauren / 12/18/2014 at 11:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

by peteto818 / 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm / Bulgaria (Pernik) / Love

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 10:34am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Love

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

by Recovering Alcoholic / 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Health

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm / United States / Health

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2014 at 8:43am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

by thankssomuch / 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work