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djpmc13

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djpmc13

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 196
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djpmc13's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of djpmc13's badges

djpmc13's favorite FMLs

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (3092)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

#21430531
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:07am - intimacy - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister told me that the only reason I like one guy is because he looks exactly like the guy that dumped me. I showed her two pictures to argue against it, and ended up proving her right. FML

#21424094
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (5282)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:14pm - love - by didn't notice for 2 years - United States (Arizona)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (7090)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
101 comments

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (2248)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (7913)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (5872)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (4088)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (3156)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49593) - you deserved it (7066)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49188) - you deserved it (27869)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (4487)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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