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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
djcaper's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by daniella101 / 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by LogicalMolly / 12/13/2011 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sparklethelette / 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…