About diving : I've been sky diving, rocky mountain climbing, scuba diving but I haven't ridden a bull. Message me if you want to know more. I've also zip lined, raced sled dogs, skied, surfed and flown a plane.
diving's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
diving's favorite FMLs
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
by kat124ever / 01/07/2013 at 3:35am / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 9:53am / United States (Texas) / Love
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML
by brokenhearted / 12/05/2012 at 6:29am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by leannez / 12/05/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by lellow_171 / 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by sadness1992 / 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…