dittoss

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dittoss

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  • Number of visits : 1015
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dittoss's page activity

Visits<b>jarrettd</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:20pm<b>guitar666God</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:17am

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50 favourites

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dittoss's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 8:26am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

by i guess / 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

by dating a pussy / 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

by wasted time / 12/19/2013 at 4:09am / United States / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 2:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

by The_Rest_of_the_Story / 12/14/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.