dickledorf

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dickledorf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 341
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dickledorf's page activity

Visits<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 9:58am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 9:59pm<b>dalink</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 2:26am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:29am

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dickledorf's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

by WartCream / 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

by Benjamin / 01/25/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

by Username / 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

by Tallow101 / 07/23/2009 at 3:10am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. FML

by RDMdragoon / 07/13/2009 at 7:16am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

by Nicole / 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

by LonelyFrog / 04/13/2009 at 11:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love