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diaspora

Offline (the 11/25/2015 at 3:04pm) | Search for a member

diaspora

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2968
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's page activity

Visits<b>mistykitten</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:37pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 9:59am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:56am<b>caaxo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:37am<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:19pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>disgruntledfox</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:13pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:55am<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:53am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am

diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of diaspora's badges

diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

#21489040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1994)

On 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

#21488577
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, it's easier to buy a house than it is to get out of a gym contract. FML

#21488112
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (2028)

On 11/03/2015 at 8:13pm - money - by why - United States

Today, my dad got dressed up in formal clothes, and I asked what the occasion was. He said he had a hot date, which would've been fine if he hadn't told me what was "on the menu", namely "wining, dining, sixty-nining". Thanks for that image. FML

#21487839
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by ew (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

#21486907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (2177)

On 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm - misc - by 2pale - United States (Texas)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (10248)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML

#21449844
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18612) - you deserved it (28007)

On 07/31/2015 at 1:38am - intimacy - by doodoobref - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (5765)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (5377)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2575)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (3020)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25374) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (3408)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)



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