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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 451
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dfox5515 : If you don't like The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mortal Kombat, or Legend of Zelda, you need to leave. Now. ✌️
-Former competitive dancer
-Mommy to be
-Happily taken

dfox5515's page activity

Visits<b>Kar0</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:26pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:16am<b>swarm20</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:35am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:37am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:26pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:30pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:21pm<b>marrymarz</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:11am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:34am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>BiGBoYWaNTsSoDa</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:13pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:08am<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:36pm<b>apu_nahasapeemap</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:42pm

dfox5515's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of dfox5515's badges

dfox5515's favorite FMLs

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

by haleymcaldwell / 11/12/2013 at 1:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

by sammieshortcake / 09/14/2013 at 11:30am / United States / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

by Dom / 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Animals

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

by wallets / 02/29/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Work