Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4051
  • Number of comments : 985
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About devildog562 : Daily ramble: Summertime is here. Time for the beach , lakes, rivers, Cold beer , whiskey, and BBQ.

Inspiring peeps :
Enslaved- silly kitty always singing
Docbastard-comments are surgically written.
Perdix - bring him back!
My close friends jack, Johnny , Jameson
Baustigt- smartest dog I've ever met
Welshite- still want to know what it's used for
Noor - you're missed .
The fml team for correcting and sometimes, not so much anymore, correcting and shutting dipshits up . Beep.

Currently in the political game, and running for presidency. After presidency I aim for world domination. After world domination, I shall obtain the Dallas cowboys. Vote for Chad! Thank you. Enjoy quick,cheap laughs. Meeting new people is always a plus.Messaging is welcome and free! No subject is taboo.

devildog562's page activity

Visits<b>gunnerette</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Alex_W3D33N</b> - 9 hours ago<b>HeyyShayy</b> - 24 hours ago<b>shmoooopie</b> - yesterday at 12:14am<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:48am<b>mariaa17</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:13pm<b>LVtaytay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Zufallian</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:03pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:13pm<b>kindleh09</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:50pm<b>stephenfranklin</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:40pm<b>Sonata90</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:34am<b>melons</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:32pm<b>_Domster_46</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:56pm<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:17pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:59am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:41pm

Fucked!<b>gunnerette</b> - just now<b>hfudge</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:38am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:24am<b>CommentKing207</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:44pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:53am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:54pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:16am<b>people_really</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 4:34am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:01am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:43am<b>thewhale</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:11pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:21am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:47pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:46am<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:52pm

devildog562's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of devildog562's badges

devildog562's favorite FMLs

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (1927)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (4033)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (2264)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (4281)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (3578)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (2343)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:38am - kids - by MrsRODixon - United Kingdom (Bridgend)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (1914)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (4562)

On 02/20/2015 at 8:35am - love - by FunGhoost - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (5142)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32781) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (6165)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29504) - you deserved it (2759)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: