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Offline (the 07/14/2016 at 12:28am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5641
  • Number of comments : 1003
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About devildog562 : Daily ramble: Summertime is here. Time for the beach , lakes, rivers, Cold beer , whiskey, and BBQ.

Inspiring peeps :
Enslaved- silly kitty always singing
Docbastard-comments are surgically written.
Perdix - bring him back!
My close friends jack, Johnny , Jameson
Baustigt- smartest dog I've ever met
Welshite- still want to know what it's used for
Noor - you're missed .
The fml team for correcting and sometimes, not so much anymore, correcting and shutting dipshits up . Beep.

Currently in the political game, and running for presidency. After presidency I aim for world domination. After world domination, I shall obtain the Dallas cowboys. Vote for Chad! Thank you. Enjoy quick,cheap laughs. Meeting new people is always a plus.Messaging is welcome and free! No subject is taboo.

devildog562's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 11:00am<b>1991stealth</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 9:29am<b>bakry</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 7:06am<b>declassified</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 2:16am<b>this_ghetto</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 10:16pm<b>buttcrackles</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 11:37am<b>Botmun12</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 8:46am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 10:43am<b>missblue97</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 3:49am<b>optimusic</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 10:02pm<b>ajk168</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:21pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 11:06pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:37pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 2:43pm<b>Pieboybom</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 2:36am<b>SwedishMaria</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 2:11pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 6:20pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:13pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:37am<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:02pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:31pm<b>LPS8585</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:15pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 5:28am<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 5:07am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:43am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Kittun</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:55pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 4:05pm<b>AaLlIiYyAaHh</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:51am<b>alee38410</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 7:45pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>tanziir1</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:35pm<b>C001Gir1</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 5:21am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:09pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:47pm

devildog562's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of devildog562's badges

devildog562's favorite FMLs

Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML

by DopeDickDover / 10/26/2015 at 11:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

by Wellthisishawkward / 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

by RobotUnicorn1209 / 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

by ineedaraise / 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

by ugh / 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho / 05/24/2015 at 11:56am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

by Darryl / 05/12/2015 at 8:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

by stoprubbingitinmyface / 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

by MrsRODixon / 03/05/2015 at 7:38am / United Kingdom (Bridgend) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

by FunGhoost / 02/20/2015 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

by CheeseTacos / 02/12/2015 at 5:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm / France (Bretagne) / Miscellaneous

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous