desso

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desso

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5918
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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desso's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:21am<b>username666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:23pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 2:49am<b>td32</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 6:09pm<b>robear</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 10:26pm

desso's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

desso's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

by bubblezzz123 / 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

by stupidtoothpick2 / 08/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:24am / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy