derpianna

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Offline (the 05/23/2015 at 4:24am)

derpianna

0Fucked!

derpiannaderpianna
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 633
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About derpianna : I'm a sarcastic twat.

Why are you still reading this?

snapchat-bananacone
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facebook-Brianna Nin Ja

K.

You can go now.

derpianna's page activity

Visits<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:43am<b>diving</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:46pm<b>kingofswedes</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:40am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:21pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:36pm<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:27am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:21pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:28pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:21am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 1:38am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:37am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 8:10pm<b>Turrence</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 3:04am<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>k_gils</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:05pm

derpianna's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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derpianna's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

by Anon / 06/26/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

by disgusted / 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

by athletiks / 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 11:33am / United States / Transportation

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 4:31am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

by cunting cuntface of a boss / 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm / Australia / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids