derp_taco

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/11/2016 at 6:49am)

derp_taco

19Fucked!

derp_taco
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 December 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17197
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About derp_taco : I play the american footballs. HMU if you just want to talk to someone because I'm pretty lonely to.

derp_taco's page activity

Visits<b>kimberly_cox</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:27am<b>jessica_ap01</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 12:16am<b>NotSoMuchAnAngel</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 2:17am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 10:44pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 4:21pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 10:54pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 2:53am<b>alyssamariekg4</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:34am<b>EmZoWe</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:31am<b>Patsuan</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 5:25pm<b>emi_alejandra</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:49am<b>jacksavage33</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:46pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:59pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 8:19am<b>brune_fdj</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:24pm<b>hayden53adams</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 12:14am<b>GabbyPLluch88</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:57am

Fucked!<b>NotSoMuchAnAngel</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 8:16am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 6:32pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 10:43pm<b>blackRose2015</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:58am<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:54am<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:33am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:22am<b>IdaE</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:08am<b>dreamer2012</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:28pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:04am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 12:09am<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:26am<b>taylor21398</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:42pm<b>nopethanks</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am

derp_taco's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of derp_taco's badges

derp_taco's favorite FMLs

Today, I got grounded for having a boner when I woke up. FML

by nightjay / 07/11/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

by foreverAlone / 04/04/2016 at 3:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, after 3 months of successful business at my restaurant, sales are down the shitter. Why? Because some no-life troll started posting loads of bad reviews online. He uses different names, but nothing in the reviews has ever happened. We can't get the reviews taken down. FML

by jacobianscum / 11/29/2015 at 2:05am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

by aloneagainnaturally / 11/28/2015 at 6:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, I got called into work on my day off. I ended up being written up for being 15 minutes late to a shift I didn't even have. FML

by hell / 11/14/2015 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML

by whyyyyyme / 08/03/2015 at 9:43pm / Canada / Love

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

by colorfun / 05/17/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

by Jbheller / 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Work

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health