dennis96411

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Offline (the 05/21/2016 at 2:55am)

dennis96411

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1924
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About dennis96411 : I like some good ol' fashioned FMLs. Keep 'em coming! :D

dennis96411's page activity

Visits<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:49am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:36pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:20am<b>whit3shad0w</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 1:53pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 12:44am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 8:55am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:16pm<b>sylverdrag</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 9:06am<b>nybsucubos</b> - the 01/12/2011 at 7:28pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:24am

dennis96411's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of dennis96411's badges

dennis96411's favorite FMLs

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

by SpilledWater93 / 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm / Ireland (Wicklow) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

by v1k1rox / 03/05/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

by seizuregirl17 / 11/19/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

by 4_and_20_blackbits / 08/26/2013 at 4:38am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous