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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 June 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3791
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dem's page activity

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dem's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dem's favorite FMLs

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML


I agree, your life sucks (65712) - you deserved it (12212)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65065) - you deserved it (5087)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:28am - health - by gimp. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15743) - you deserved it (83809)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad texted me and told me "I love u." I answer back with "I love you too dad...are you drunk?" and he answers back "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68198) - you deserved it (5033)

On 05/06/2009 at 6:04pm - love - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61955) - you deserved it (3572)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML


I agree, your life sucks (61438) - you deserved it (21350)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML


I agree, your life sucks (114225) - you deserved it (8944)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML


I agree, your life sucks (78759) - you deserved it (785097)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

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