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delude

Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 11:05pm) | Search for a member

delude

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1894
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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delude's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:17pm<b>sweetbeaut</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:49am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:46am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:28am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:33pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:51am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:31am<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:10pm<b>niallo</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:39pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:23am<b>clickme</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:56am<b>tweetyzyaw</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:53am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:06am<b>mirbear</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:20am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:13am<b>battleaxe_bowman</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:28am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:50pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:46am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:07am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:08am<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:35pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:15am<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:35am

delude's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of delude's badges

delude's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (2574)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (5225)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

#21424629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (10591)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Bigbaby - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (2229)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25133) - you deserved it (5097)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (6275)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33526) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (2334)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (2229)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (7902)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my friends have contests to see who can photoshop my pictures to make them even uglier. FML

#21370101
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (2430)

On 03/07/2015 at 6:55pm - misc - by Theuglyfriend - United States



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