delay1234

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/17/2015 at 6:37am)

delay1234

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 March 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 435
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About delay1234 : FML

delay1234's page activity

Visits<b>MrMoofinMan</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:48am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:20pm<b>acg7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:47am<b>therealjc</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:25am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:14am<b>braver7315</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:01am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:31am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>unworldlyalex</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 11:38pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:53pm<b>appletreee</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 9:47am<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:20pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 9:29pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:03am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 2:25pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:02pm<b>batman105</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 6:16pm

delay1234's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of delay1234's badges

delay1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

by stopstutteringforSiri / 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm / United States / Love

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

by wheezy / 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

by Kyle / 12/03/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

by rick / 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

by Sherressa / 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids