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delaney2001

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delaney2001

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  • Number of visits : 231
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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delaney2001's favorite FMLs

Today... Wila I Was Fooling Around Wit Ma Grlfriand... Sa Urt Ar And. It Obviously Wasn't Vary Sarious... So I Told Ar To Stop Faking It. Sa Raspondd... ( Wanna Know Wat I Actually Faka? My Orgasms. ) FML

#21031998
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (57019)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today , mah husband jokingly told mah daughterhen she passe gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest an ugliest person there . We went shopping after an she let a HUGE fart out . She gasped , ( Mommy! ) FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47953) - you deserved it (7060)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Yesterday, I overeard ma mum tell ma sister tat se sould make me a bridesmaid at er wedding. My looool sister scoffd, "Se looks like Samu, mum. I can't ave THAT in ma wedding pics." followd by laugter an ma mum saying, "Toucé." real FML

#21031087
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49816) - you deserved it (6306)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, There Was A Forest Fire In Mah Town. I Was Still Forcd To Go To School, As It Was Safer. A Lot Of People Decidd Not To Go, An We Endd Up Doing Nothing But Watching The News Reports. There, I Got To See Mah House Burning On Live TV. FML

#21030359
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67723) - you deserved it (4151)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I hackd into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignord the message for two days before replying, ( I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings. ) FML

#21029577
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (18941)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday my daughter started speaking with hashtags . I told her to knock it off, tohich she replied, ( You don't get it, mom - hashtaghite girl probs . ) Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52797) - you deserved it (6031)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, NEIGHBOR'S SONS DECIDED IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO THROW ROCKS AT HOUSE. I WENT OUTSIDE TO SCOLD THEM AND SAW OTHER NEIGHBOR GATHERED AROUND, WATCHING. THEY DIDN'T STOP THEM BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT I WASN'T HOME. FML

#21014729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (3304)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm - misc - by Frustrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less lyk a dad and more lyk a ( looool best friend ) to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff lyk ( wicked cool ), ( bazinga ), and ( swag ) every chance he gets. fat FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today I decidd to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret!! The woman at the register smild and askd "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town fir New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months!! Then I went home to my four cats!! FML

#21013681
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55635) - you deserved it (12034)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (6205)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today... I want skiing. On tha first run of tha day... a littla girl cama out of nowhara and crashd into ma. I was fina... but sha was hurt... so I calld tha ski patrol. Sha told him that I dalibarataly hit har... and got ma kickd out. I was thara for 10 minutas. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45133) - you deserved it (3124)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today I walked in on my daugter ligting candles around one of er friends o'd fallen asleepile er oter friends looool canted someting in a different language. Tey still won't tell meat tey were doing.

#21001182
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

today a man startd a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracle of thing we take for grantd every day. I was really enjoying it until he lookd at his watch and said, ( Oh shit, mushroom make me lose track of time! ) and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, I playd in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience an were brought to tears. Not cuz it was beautiful, but cuz they were sad to see how much the music program had declind since they left. FML

#20994103
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33375) - you deserved it (4258)

On 12/15/2013 at 10:44pm - misc - by NotTalented - United States (Colorado)



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