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dejahlee123's FML badges

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dejahlee123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML


I agree, your life sucks (60390) - you deserved it (5837)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54798) - you deserved it (4181)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (14507)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (275073)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (87256)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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