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deet124's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
deet124's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to abandon my normal duties and help out the electrician my boss called, all because my boss couldn't handle speaking to him since he was attractive. She's in her fifties. I'm in my twenties and I'm the more mature one. FML
by C8H18 / 08/10/2016 at 3:16pm / United States (California) / Work
by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 8:21am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML
by nerderer / 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by NoMoreTacoBell / 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by wtf?? / 02/09/2015 at 8:26am / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML
by goodbyediet / 01/30/2015 at 6:00am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous
by Crystal_da_thing / 01/29/2015 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML
by chelse_elyce / 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm / United States / Intimacy
by klaatu barada nikto / 01/20/2015 at 8:23am / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 8:58am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
by ozozl / 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I found out what its like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in… Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as… Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah...…