Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deet124

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 1:07am) | Search for a member

deet124

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 485
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

deet124's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:25am<b>DariaTrent</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:44pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Unknown939</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:42am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:49am<b>cuki03</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:35pm<b>alakazam12</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:36pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:19pm<b>vadskimer</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:47pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>roxyroller20</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:17pm<b>HackNSlashHD</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:27pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:45pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:36pm<b>Fidel_ASStro</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:16am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 5:42pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:44pm

deet124's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of deet124's badges

deet124's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (5304)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29744) - you deserved it (2143)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (10639)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (6340)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36160) - you deserved it (3458)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (5461)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
98 comments

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33096) - you deserved it (12728)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2583)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32222) - you deserved it (3931)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (6394)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (8366) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64019) - you deserved it (4664)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44930) - you deserved it (6913)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: