Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

decimater

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

decimater

40Fucked!

decimaterdecimater
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 824
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About decimater : So, what have I done to deserve your attention? Well, if there's anything that is interesting about me, it's that I love Canada, hate the winters in Chicago, and absolutely ADORE kittens! Have a nice day!!!

decimater's page activity

Visits<b>teejaycro</b> - yesterday at 4:39pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Tander</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:23am<b>Ninja_Porcupine</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:54pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Cnscott0205</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:29pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:03am<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:59am<b>Shuhsjdndj</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:58am<b>sam882</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Svxnt</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:50am<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>the_disliker</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:58pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:10pm<b>cml2000</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:42pm<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:17pm

Fucked!<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:31am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:32am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:52am<b>BBlah</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:32am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:11pm<b>roman11</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:42am<b>akrolaser</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:29pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:29am<b>dtrey21465</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Stillo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:12pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:20am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:46am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:24pm<b>Anonymousjeffrey</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:10am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:53pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:35pm<b>DemonInFlannel</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:38am

decimater's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of decimater's badges

decimater's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (3763)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36394) - you deserved it (5083)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6485) - you deserved it (47050)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72885) - you deserved it (15824)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15089) - you deserved it (26320)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: