daytoday21

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daytoday21

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 893
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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daytoday21's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:22pm<b>SexAndStarbucks</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:00pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:11am<b>Caroline1812</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:20pm<b>furstur</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:58pm<b>KingMaxDreads</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:03am<b>clumsycarolyn</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm<b>LunarSpiral</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:26am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:28am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 7:01pm<b>LivexForever21</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:48pm<b>courtneybelle718</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:35am<b>queenchlorine</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 5:24pm<b>elizabeth26</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 8:12pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 12:45pm<b>ragini95</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 6:22pm<b>0ld_Greg</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 10:10am

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daytoday21's favorite FMLs

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

by offtothejobcentre / 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

by Mandy93 / 12/20/2012 at 8:57am / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

by wickedbeauty333 / 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

by charliesangel123 / 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous