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dawnleemorgan's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
dawnleemorgan's favorite FMLs
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
by thatescalatedquickly / 11/07/2013 at 3:52am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML
by nevergoingtopeeagain / 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
by s3xygrandpa / 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by lbg2msf / 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Wraith / 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by TheMommas / 11/06/2013 at 11:33am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by pathetic / 11/06/2013 at 8:04am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Steiner / 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by RidingCJ / 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML
by GDubeau24 / 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She… Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the… Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I…