davymac718

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Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 10:04pm)

davymac718

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About davymac718 : Fucken awesome!

davymac718's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:41pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:39pm<b>NotoriousKidney</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:39pm<b>ForeverAlone247</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 8:03pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:20am<b>djudge00</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:24am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:35am<b>ihavenolife2330</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:15am<b>LeeB</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Watermelon2011</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 3:46pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 3:36am<b>BabyWickedOneXoX</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 6:38am<b>endermanthecat</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Tik_Tak</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:57am<b>kjblack</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 2:29pm<b>abbypoo</b> - the 10/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>Keep_It_Hot99</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 8:13pm

davymac718's FML badges

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Beginner

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of davymac718's badges

davymac718's favorite FMLs

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

by WeddingWoes / 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

by jlee0000785 / 09/17/2012 at 10:15am / Australia / Love

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

by distracted / 09/16/2012 at 3:00am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

by Lauraborealous / 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

by memphis201 / 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy