Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

davincidasecond

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

davincidasecond

7Fucked!

davincidasecond
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 February 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4997
  • Number of comments : 609
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
Senior in college.
Rugby player/fan.
Comic book geek.
Guy who comes on FML to laugh.

Just a few things (out of thousands) to know about me. Feel free to shoot a message. But please, no creepers.

davincidasecond's page activity

Visits<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - 23 hours ago<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:59am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:35am<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:18am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:01am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:35am<b>leogachi</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:05pm<b>lanaoftherey</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:50pm<b>kylerbaker</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:38am<b>alexanderavatar</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Krastrolytric</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:29am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:28am<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:40am

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:35am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:48pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:27am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:01am<b>_mittlieder_</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:24am

davincidasecond's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of davincidasecond's badges

davincidasecond's favorite FMLs

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (2945)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (2231)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (3859)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (18756)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

#21338906
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (6062)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (2873)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (38969)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31947) - you deserved it (2761)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML

#21335669
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30016) - you deserved it (2777)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:36am - work - by Tired - United States (California)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (3919)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32291) - you deserved it (2601)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (4143)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: