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davidpropert

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davidpropert
  • Town/Country : MD, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 246
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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davidpropert's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (3389)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35543) - you deserved it (3314)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32850) - you deserved it (7687)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39608) - you deserved it (3598)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31703) - you deserved it (3848)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (16110)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (5229)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39443) - you deserved it (4478)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (4551)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46671) - you deserved it (15555)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54136) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States



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