datoismyname

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/11/2014 at 1:18am)

datoismyname

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2282
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About datoismyname : I'm a lurker and a smirker. SuperWhoLockian for life!

datoismyname's page activity

Visits<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 9:56pm<b>PhoenixMartinez</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:52pm<b>kiki1705</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:40pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:25am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:54pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 8:21pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:18am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:59pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>YDI17</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 2:59pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:23pm<b>lemmegetsumpizza</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:19am<b>sam_wolves</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:54pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 3:34pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:58pm<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:33am

Fucked!<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:58pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 6:09pm

datoismyname's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of datoismyname's badges

datoismyname's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

by Sniffles / 04/26/2014 at 8:28am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 7:36am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

by pleasekillme / 04/19/2013 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous