darlinjai

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Offline (the 02/06/2014 at 1:57am)

darlinjai

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1397
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About darlinjai : Sometimes its just too delicious to be strange...I'd rather live my life vibrant and intense than fade into eternity kik me if you want! JunesongJaime

darlinjai's page activity

Visits<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 9:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 9:59pm<b>rock_raghav</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 4:21pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 12:54am<b>DanielDart2</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 8:32pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:31am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:43pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:19am<b>ItzAbstract</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 8:39pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:17pm<b>MorganLee1997</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:38am<b>MuslimShady</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:53am<b>ber_moresushi</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:31pm<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:31pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:43am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:17pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:48pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:28am<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:08am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 3:45am<b>sam9697</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:01am

darlinjai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of darlinjai's badges

darlinjai's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2013 at 2:31am / United States / Love

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

by buxton1 / 02/18/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

by daniel55 / 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

by Lesser / 02/17/2013 at 3:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

by BadLuckCarson / 02/12/2013 at 12:55am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

by djxerxes9000 / 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm / Canada / Work

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

by oh no / 01/29/2013 at 9:51am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy