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darkxsky86

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darkxsky86
  • Town/Country : LA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 267
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkxsky86 : Sup?

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darkxsky86's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73134) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50030) - you deserved it (20063)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43761) - you deserved it (4512)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (4639)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54046) - you deserved it (20995)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (7276)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47536) - you deserved it (8707)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52155) - you deserved it (6576)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15603) - you deserved it (37522)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States



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