darkxsky86

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Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 5:32am)

darkxsky86

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 505
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About darkxsky86 : Sup?

darkxsky86's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 9:22pm<b>pocketemo1997</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:10am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 7:06pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 1:15am<b>sergysalazar</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:02pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 7:39pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 7:32am<b>happylappy</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:45am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:11am<b>crazycookiecr</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:43pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 3:52am<b>catchyusername</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:55pm<b>yuup96</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 7:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 8:16pm<b>maz95</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 7:49am<b>kimberly3499</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 2:36pm<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:22am

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darkxsky86's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

by melons / 07/03/2013 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

by Marco / 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm / United States / Intimacy