darkmis1

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Offline (the 03/04/2014 at 7:13pm)

darkmis1

16Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 128855
  • Number of comments : 2399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

About darkmis1 : There is nothing better than a friend, unless it's a friend with chocolate. ~Charles Dickens

darkmis1's page activity

Visits<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 3:51am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:31am<b>stingray112</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:25pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:35pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:20am<b>Altairae</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 2:09am<b>Bliepje</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:45pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 4:57pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:47am<b>vincentjules</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 5:17pm<b>Bearsmomma</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 7:00pm<b>I_AM_CAPTAIN_NOW</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 4:47am<b>lmaofuck</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:13pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:45am<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Brightblue2</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:47am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 2:55am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:48pm

Fucked!<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 9:51am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 2:08am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:49am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 2:28am<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:08pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>TheHinduHomie</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:27am<b>KittyKJ</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:56am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:24pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:31am<b>EMCsheldon</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:23am<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:42am<b>0ruben0</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 9:33pm<b>bigbeefie</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 6:15pm

darkmis1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of darkmis1's badges

darkmis1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

by really?!? / 01/25/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

by badenoughflowers / 01/14/2013 at 10:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends / 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm / United States / Work

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

by Anon. / 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm / Animals

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

by lobstercola / 11/24/2012 at 11:35am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

by needanewride / 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

by Lameartist / 02/12/2012 at 5:36am / Miscellaneous