About darkfire4eva : Mmm... 2 words
1st word: 4 letters
2nd word: 3 letters
Could mean anything. Hi there. I'm Zoey.
Enough about me though.
About darkfire4eva : Mmm... 2 words
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darkfire4eva's favorite FMLs
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
by failallday / 08/07/2014 at 5:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by fuckendog / 07/25/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML
by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML
by Hiimhaileypotter / 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML
by Ob3nie / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML
by x.x / 07/06/2014 at 1:09am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…