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dantee2005

Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 7:31pm) | Search for a member

dantee2005

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 791
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dantee2005 : I love Everybody,
Some i love to be around,
Some i love to avoid,
and some I'd love to punch in the face.

dantee2005's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:47pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:51am<b>meggieeeee92</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:44am<b>LordGrew</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:36am<b>MandyMeow</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:48am<b>abattior</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 6:28pm<b>polishguy05</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Deeeee_gut</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:51pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:36am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:15pm<b>fmylifeNOT</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:56pm<b>weedxmanx420x</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:04pm<b>cavanlad</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:00am<b>tayraaah</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:19am<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:19am<b>JacobH34</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Exploding_Birds</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:30pm

dantee2005's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of dantee2005's badges

dantee2005's favorite FMLs

Today , I went to te restroom to pee . A loud fart exploded out of ma ass an ecoed in te toilet bowl . I could practically feel ma face on fire wen I saw te orrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out . FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (6276)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY , I WENT TO THE DOCTOR , ONLY TO FINE OUT I CAN NO LONGER EAT CHOCOLATE , MY FAVORITE FOOD . WHEN I GOT HOME , MY BOYFRIEND TOOK THE CHOCOLATE CAKE I'D BEEN EATING FROM THE FRIDGE , SAT DOWN IN FRONT OF ME , AN ATE THEHOLE THING WITHOUT BREAKING EYE CONTACT . FML

#21025897
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52032) - you deserved it (6536)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today... I tried waxing 4 te first time. At first it felt lyk I'd dipped balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel tem. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (20547)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, mah mom calld to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope u aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again!! Gifts should be returnable!! And have a price." FML

Today, I found out about ma co-workers' new game. Woever talks to me frst loses. FML

Today , I asked girlfriend what she loves the most about me . She said it's the fact that I look lyk her cousin . FML

#20984907
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45289) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67260) - you deserved it (5592)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend an I decided to try flavored condoms!! I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle!! FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (18017)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today , as my wife and I were getting intimate , I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whisperd in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. real FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (54588)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48985) - you deserved it (5400)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, ma boyfriand laft ma for anotar grl. My dad's raaction to ta naws and ma taars was to say, ( Aww. Gonna writa a song about it, Taylor Swift? ) FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53529) - you deserved it (7800)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I cummed out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with mah dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55919) - you deserved it (12567)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Mah Husband And I Were Fooling Around, And Things Got Heated. In The Heat Of Things, I Told Him To Tear Mah Panties Off. He Took It Literally And Yanked At Them With All His Might. It's Been Two Hours And I Still Can't Walk Straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47626) - you deserved it (17783)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, a bug buzzad into my looool aar. In rasponsa, I punchad mysalf in tha faca. FML



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