Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dantee2005

Online | Search for a member

dantee2005

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1031
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dantee2005 : He is called Loki.

dantee2005's page activity

Visits<b>LozzieDumpling</b> - 2 hours ago<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - 5 hours ago<b>wowwzaa</b> - 6 hours ago<b>afrostybird</b> - 9 hours ago<b>macorncob</b> - 18 hours ago<b>arabian22</b> - 24 hours ago<b>jaydoug92</b> - yesterday at 1:42am<b>ZY1431</b> - yesterday at 5:24pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - yesterday at 1:15pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:41pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:24am<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:04pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:32am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:15am<b>Stephers_</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:55am<b>eatmydust95</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:54am

Fucked!<b>arabian22</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:32pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:01am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:38am<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:34am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Hyenayena</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:51am<b>HedgeFox90</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:50pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:42pm<b>jazzyjazz04</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:16am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:32pm<b>Sophiopath</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:18pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:41pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:23pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:05am<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:13am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:34am

dantee2005's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of dantee2005's badges

dantee2005's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

#21430717
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (16813)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
116 comments

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (5970)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (2025)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML

#21426359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (2334)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:57am - misc - by Gagging (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (6284)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53969) - you deserved it (6761)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (20583)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (3715)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67412) - you deserved it (5601)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44674) - you deserved it (18042)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (55723)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44498) - you deserved it (5399)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: