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dannysalazar1221

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dannysalazar1221

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 180
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dannysalazar1221's favorite FMLs

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39496) - you deserved it (4084) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36173) - you deserved it (5951)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (3622)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41916) - you deserved it (4071) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (9759)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42416) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39287) - you deserved it (3250)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (5251)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43729) - you deserved it (19799)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41881) - you deserved it (2168)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36303) - you deserved it (7352)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, after waiting 3 months, I finally got my wedding dress back from the dry-cleaners. The dry cleaning lasted longer than the marriage. FML

#17583056
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (9441)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:28am - love - by justmyluck - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (5735)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States



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