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danilols689

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danilols689

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  • Number of visits : 6263
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:01pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:46am<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:59pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:33pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:56pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:25pm<b>nyranger35</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:33pm<b>ThorPowaa</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:32am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:01pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:19pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>mirokuboy2</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:29am<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Ranimal</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:11am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:12am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:15am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:59pm

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danilols689's favorite FMLs

Today, dad took me to a bar 4 first legal drink!! He quickly got "drunk" an startd slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too looool poor to pay 4 an abortion!! As I startd crying, he burst out laughing an said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (5939)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today I went to a paintball match with mah family and the family of mah brother's grlfriend . A few minutes into mah brother's grlfriend's dad snuck up on me unloadd into me from behind and snarld "That's for knocking mah daughter up." He got the wrong guy . My back is killing me . real FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

2day my friand hrad a mala strippar to giva ma a lap danca fir my brthday. It was all pratty nica until ha lat rip ona of tha most nausaating farts I'va avar ancountarad, right in my faca. Hours latar, I can still small it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52203) - you deserved it (6576)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop an noticd a girl that I playd netball with. I ran across the road to meet her an she ran across the car park to meet me. We huggd an lookd at each other slowly backing away as we both realisd that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Taday I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it cuz one note that I playd soundd like a fart. FML

#21082619
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing monopoly with mah boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankruptd mah boyfriend, he turnd to me and said, "I fuckd your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turnd to the best friend in question, she lookd at the board and said, "I'd like to buy looool a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59743) - you deserved it (4319)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I was at a party wit a few of my friends . We saw a guy walking around wit brigt pink lipstick all over is mout, so we made a bet to seeo could matc te lipstick to te grl frst . I won . It was my grlfriend's . FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55548) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as always, my boyfriand has tha ability to pop his ayaballs looool out of his aya sockats . Ha thought it'd ba funny 4 ma to waka up faca-to-faca with tha disgusting sight . Tha shit in my bowals did an aarly Thanksgiving Day parada straight into my undarwaar . FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, My Mother Was Talking About A Holiday She Went On This Time Last Year. She Turned To Me To Say, "You Would've Loved It, It's A Shame U Couldn't Come". I Was There. It Was Just The Two Of Us On Holiday Together. FML

#20938197
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (2412)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burnd to death it flung its charrd body at my face hich is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday I took my grlfriend to looool meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and endd up crying to my mum about how I can't please her cuz I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53388) - you deserved it (9127)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say ( Shit! Get this fucker back under! ) then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid ( another lawsuit ) followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59073) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday a customer was paying for his food. As he placd the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I askd why. He replid, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As mah coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the frst time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into mah back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4592)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

TODAY, I SENT MY BOYFRIEND A TEXT ASKING HIM TO COME OVER A LITTLE LATER AN HAVE SOME "FUN" WITH ME. HE TEXTED BACK, "WTF BABE? BREAKING BAD'S ON TONIGHT. YOU GOT A DILDO, FUCKING USE IT." FML

#20900698
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63571) - you deserved it (26416)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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