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daniisme

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daniisme
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 3728
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About daniisme : Im bored.

daniisme's last visitors

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daniisme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daniisme's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (8858)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

#9059310
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (2671)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by bobby - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

#9057957
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5947) - you deserved it (23787)

On 03/13/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by Painfulfaceforme - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

#8828123
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (3501)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2548) - you deserved it (40354)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

#8382475
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (8239)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by missunlucky (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (1614)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (2159)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (39855)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46039) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7408) - you deserved it (27837)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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