daniisme

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daniisme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5243
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About daniisme : Im bored.

daniisme's page activity

Visits<b>DeMamp</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 4:55am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Arnv</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:17pm<b>kayla5797</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:26pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>Rolz14</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:10am<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:57am<b>mcbatmanrainbows</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:49pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:59pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:13am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:35pm<b>hplover32</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:43pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:52pm<b>fayza564</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 4:52am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:35pm<b>dageorge21</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:58pm<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:46pm

daniisme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daniisme's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

by bobby / 03/13/2010 at 10:17pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

by Painfulfaceforme / 03/13/2010 at 9:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

by Stephanie / 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

by Piano999 / 02/21/2010 at 2:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

by missunlucky / 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

by Mary / 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 12:58am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous