dani64x

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dani64x

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 August 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4169
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dani64x : Hey. So. I'm a down to earth country girl. I absolutely adore animals and nature. I own three cats, two mice, and a horse. Horses are my passion, I am an instructor and trainer, among other things, and I used to show. I'm currently in college. Ummmm I enjoy reading books and listening to a wide range of music from jazz to screamo. LostProphets is an all time favorite. Though I have a country music obsession and always will. Anndd idk what else to say :) poke!

dani64x's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:14am<b>Trollx</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 11:20pm<b>amaindayyy46</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 10:42pm<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:49pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:44am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 1:30am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:53pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:06pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:31pm<b>Neilish</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:22pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 6:57am<b>CammyGal</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 2:06pm<b>rob02</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 2:06pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:40pm<b>notacreativename</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:26pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 11:01pm<b>Testing1234</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:37pm<b>msamake</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:00am

dani64x's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

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dani64x's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

by estranger / 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:38am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

by thisisavirus.exe / 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

by PityKitty / 12/24/2013 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

by JoshuasGirl / 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy