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dangerousdanny's favorite FMLs
by idiot says pussy / 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
by owl + bungee cord / 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
by Kyle / 12/03/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by other woman / 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML
by -__- / 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous
by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…