dandee_one

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dandee_one

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1977
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dandee_one's page activity

Visits<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:54am<b>brendanr16</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 10:24pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:08am<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:56am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:24am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:47am<b>gordjess1</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:28pm<b>17031990</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:08am<b>shepardkinz</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:58pm<b>sulvan182</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:00pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:18am<b>Micool</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:36am<b>SouL_WraitH</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Vexatious</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:15pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 11:03pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:16pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:56pm

Fucked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:15am

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dandee_one's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

by yankesik / 01/03/2016 at 5:42pm / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Health

Today, my brother called me a clueless idiot after I told him that odometers measure distance traveled, not a person's body odor. FML

by facepalm / 11/18/2015 at 10:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

by zAstonish / 09/25/2015 at 11:03am / Singapore / Animals

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

by BlueMacaw / 09/16/2015 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

by monster1109 / 08/10/2015 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

by johobus28 / 08/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

by fack / 07/29/2015 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous