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dandee_one

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dandee_one

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1034
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dandee_one's page activity

Visits<b>shepardkinz</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:58pm<b>sulvan182</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:00pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:18am<b>Micool</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:36am<b>SouL_WraitH</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Vexatious</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:15pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 11:03pm<b>17031990</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:16pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:56pm<b>ShadowOpsV4</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:56am<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:40pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:28pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>hereicomment</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:39pm<b>NotAWalnut</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 9:48pm

Fucked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:15am

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dandee_one's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14709) - you deserved it (13905)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

#21454264
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (8604)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by monster1109 (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (4089)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (9790)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (3524)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (4293)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (19834)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (9244)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (6701)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16181) - you deserved it (27070)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28796) - you deserved it (7198)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40161) - you deserved it (4134)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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