About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
dancinwookie's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
dancinwookie's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Out from Hell / 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML
by pleasekillme / 04/19/2013 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous
by s0m3guy2010 / 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
by notacaveman / 04/16/2013 at 9:27am / Netherlands / Intimacy
Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML
by chrissy2 / 04/15/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by twinArmageddon2 / 04/15/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lonely / 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm / United States / Love
Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML
by NZgirl92 / 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML
by MissedTheBoat / 04/14/2013 at 3:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 6:23am / Canada / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…