About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs
by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 12:02am / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by Jen_NM / 12/16/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML
by rick / 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML
by car keyer / 12/02/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML
by fuckface? I wish / 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy
by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by A.Summers / 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
by hairy / 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
by courtnayy / 09/30/2013 at 10:47am / United States / Love
Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Health
- Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it,… Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I…