About dancinwookie : I'm a walking non-sequitur. I try to spread sunshine, so, please, don't piss on my parade. You can message me, but it might take me a little bit to respond. I love rainbows more than I can verbally express. Sometimes I give just the absolute worst advice on here, because the outcome that is playing in my head is beyond ridiculously funny. My humor is imagination based.
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dancinwookie's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2011 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Scarlett / 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work
by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower.… Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support.… Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell…