damaniii

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Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 7:36pm)

damaniii

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 513
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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damaniii's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:31am<b>lilithkitty</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:44pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:46am<b>anonymousjon</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:00am<b>CamBen</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:46pm<b>1uw</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:34pm<b>coldashell</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:43am<b>gmian</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:29pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 3:18pm<b>hashtagswaggy</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 11:20pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:56am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 8:04am

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damaniii's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Work

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

by ohgodwhyyoufreaks / 04/01/2013 at 7:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

by Dave / 09/27/2012 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

by Anna / 01/06/2012 at 6:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

by msjustine / 05/06/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

by Shamdog48 / 04/11/2011 at 11:08am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

by lookbothways / 10/05/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

by papertrains / 02/20/2010 at 10:13am / Singapore / Health

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

by fuuuuck / 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health